Vibe Check? We Should Talk…
If I didn’t take a break—a hiatus for mental wellness, then I would probably be in pretty bad shape by now; and this is a safe space where I can admit that. As someone that throws myself into a new project or hops on my next goal, I had a strong feeling that getting rid of social media for an indefinite amount of time would be in my own best interest; as well as a form of selfcare. I was right. After being without the gram and Twitter for about two and a half weeks, I came back to what would eventually lead me to head out, again. I’m opening up about why hiatuses are crucial (especially at a time like this), their benefits, and reacclimating to our online lives…
Is it just me or since quarantine and the recognition of time for the illusion that it is, boundaries went right out the window? A lot of folks were wrong to assume that more time at home equaled a lighter schedule, WHICH THEN got mistaken for open availability. I understand that we’ve created a more open window for communication, but I still prefer the standard common courtesy. As someone who values sleep, I seldom ditch it for any impromptu conversations. What this hiatus allowed me to do, is not be available. Pressure to converse or respond in a timely fashion ceased to exist. Once folks see an obvious period of engagement for someone who does not appear to be online or open to interaction all day and night, the boundaries set themselves. Let’s talk about those for a sec: What may seem like borders that stunt growth for some could very well be the bricks that aid in your foundation to success. It’s important to take time away from being tuned into the lives of other people to figure out where you stand as a consumer. We love engaging with others, that’s what makes social media as entertaining as it is lucrative. However, because we engage pretty regularly, does that sign us up to be everyone’s best friend behind the screen? The older I get the more I realize that as valuable as time is, the quantity I spend on certain things or certain people affects my life far more drastically than ever before. Where or to whom time is dedicated comes with a series of assumptions, connotations and possibly, feelings of entitlement. Take control of these things and your time by setting boundaries, both on and offline.
During my hiatus, I’d started to become fascinated with how quickly the world truly spun with the faintest interaction from me and let me tell you; I don’t think there is anything more humbling than purposely avoiding your own phone for hours, just to come back to a blank ass screen. Being comfortable and, as my research showed, releasing that FOMO (fear of missing out) will turn out to be a big blessing. One thing social media does so well is make us feel like we are constantly tuned into so many different things. With the world being connected in this way yet so controlled by people in power though, social media can easily become this barrage of information— whether it’s the constant onslaught of trauma, or all the lives of our internet associates. What was I afraid of missing out on? Perhaps the happy and hopeful moments, smiles hidden deep inside the crevices of patterned tragedies. Every single peak of white America’s sudden… realization of its possible visual impairment to social injustice (these past few weeks especially), has been another layer— another cheap ass band-aid to cover up a wound that has been picked at to a-point-pass infection. During a fucking pandemic at that. Checking in with oneself and assessing how social media impacts our emotions and daily lives are a must.
Another benefit of a social media hiatus: reclaiming your goddamn time. Be selfish with it, because to be completely honest too much of it has been stolen from us in the first place. Lessen your distractions and maybe get back into things that your usual schedule caused you to fall off of (things like rest and relaxation, perhaps). I’ve gotten back into practicing my Spanish regularly, frequent exercise that I actually find fun and effective, reading for leisure (taking time to explore more Black authors) and even graphic design! Before I started having fun with my website, I was not interested in even entertaining the art form that once controlled majority of my life. Like at all. After changing my major years ago, graphic design definitely became the ex I hit up every now and then when I want to feel a little nostalgia… Turns out I still like him; we just needed some space.
Social media apps like Instagram and Twitter have become staples in how we receive global news and new information, as well as connect with almost everyone and anyone. Coming up in this digital age, I can credit Twitter for education on subjects that academia would never touch (and we all know why). However, in tumultuous times like this, it is imperative that we don’t ignore how this traumatic information we consume affects us. My nerves? Shot to hell. My exhaustion? At its peak. Seeing how we all are collectively hurting, how generation after generation life/survival has been turned into the longest, most difficult obstacle course you can imagine (while plenty with privilege have always turned a blind eye) leaves you with a certain pain that seems almost impossible to unpack. In a world where things you have no control over (like the color of your skin or the rich blood that runs through your veins, your entire identity) catalyze your destiny in every way, forms of any type of recovery or healing are presented as difficult to attain, often being both unaffordable and inaccessible. I’m not sure which to prefer: onlookers proclaiming the system has failed us, or admitting that it’s always been rigged.
Normally it wouldn’t be ideal for me to head out during a monumental movement; but with the goal of being more honest with myself about my mental health, I realized that disservices to oneself have the power to impact the services to one’s community. I want to be strong in every way and show up for myself so I can show up for my community. A hiatus from things that you’ve noticed have been leaving you feeling more down than usual gives you the chance to rest, reevaluate, and recharge. It allows you to show up for yourself, so you can then show up as your best self for the people around you. So, take that break. However you feel it necessary, whenever, for as long as you need to, as often as you need to. Ease yourself back into being social online as you realize what kind of changes need to be made. Rush for no one and wait for no one, because when has life ever rushed or waited for any of us?
