The Fruitful Kind of Brave
This may be part-one of my 2022 reflection post… We’ve still got a little time, and reflection is endless anyway (so I’ve learned). This is a hey, hello. Somewhat of a free-write after a lull in communication over the past couple months. This is proof of life, learning and loving on me... Recognizing the evolution of my love— the love I have for others, too. Even with last year’s crumpling fresh in my mind, I still lived, learned, and loved… And I am so very proud of that. This year gripped me in a lot of ways, and by that I mean its snatching had movement and weight; all around me… And yet, it pieced me together far more than it tore me apart. It is the first day of the last month of the year, and I am reflecting as we all do. Gripped me, snatched me up, but also held me tight in such a way that made its molding… comfortable.
For the first time in perhaps my whole life I’ve felt this comfort in who I am, a safety on this Earth that I’ve never known. Even amidst the chaos targeting [constantly targeting] all my identities. Feeling safe to unfold and be vulnerable, with others, but also just with my goddamn self. I dug deeper, peeled back layers and what keeps being revealed is a soul who is in love with evolution [bettering myself]; someone who is brave brave brave.
I followed the love. I followed my heart. These channels I flowed through when I had the flowing spirit. This year I realized that I’d been waiting on this energy for so long— to be free in the way that I’ve freed myself. Free in the way that took these moments in, with all their weights and even when weighed down, never stayed down… That kind of free. In the future, when I think about 2022, I want to feel the nostalgia of my journey, my intuitive flight. My ascension.
A well-deserved job came to me in August. I’m still settling in, but the fact that I even want to settle in [with the intention to stay a while] says a lot… I turned 26 in September. Crossed the mid-twenties threshold and the difference is truly felt— seen in the mirror even, seen by those whom I hold dear and close. My debut poetry collection, This Is How I Speak to You turned 4…FOUR YEARS OLD! The past few months [maybe this entire second half, maybe since the clock struck 12 on January 1st] I’ve been in awe of how life can change completely in such little time. What a difference a year can make. I’m in awe of how growth and love, even as you survive the unthinkable, keep on keeping on. I’ve spent my time being delusional— manifesting. Every time I believed and envisioned for myself, declared what is true… the Universe has answered with what will be, every time.
I’m ready for the clock to strike 12 once again. Ready to time-travel, ready to be transported to my new era. If nothing else 2022 has reminded me over and over again that the day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit. No doubt the tears I cried last year watered and watered…This year stressed the importance of tending the garden, honoring the seeds, caring for myself. Growing. Having faith until harvest, and faith in the abundance of harvests to come. That’s the cycle… The main goal, the vision, the manifestation coming to fruition— the most juiciest, fruitful life.
If you’re reading this, thank you a thousand times over.
