Reflection and Redirection
As 2020 comes to an end what I am feeling is such an emphasis on finishing yet another chapter of my story. So much change has occurred in this last quarter! I am reflecting, as someone who is working on ridding myself of this habit of celebrating small victories not nearly enough, I am overwhelmed. I am overwhelmed by all of this change— it’s inevitability, how infinitely dependable, the teaching mechanism of it all. The world has been crumbling in ways I never could have fathomed. Yet, as terrified of the unknown as I’d once been, today I can acknowledge the victory of acceptance—accepting that there will be a countless number of times in life that I will have to deal with the unexpected, pick up the pieces of what has broken, and have faith in my ability to rebuild; even while standing in the middle of all the wreckage. Accepting what chapters are complete, accepting what doors will be closed for good, accepting deaths of ideals that would not have served me and would have caused me to stray from my path and purpose. Accepting that destiny is what comes naturally.
To say a major theme of this year for me has been redirection is an understatement. Blogging, like journaling, has forced me to face my fears and anxieties in a way I’d have never predicted. “Please No Bullsh*t” is what I needed to say, demanding that I be real, transparent, and true to myself. It was a call for honesty with the admission that I don’t have all the answers, admitting to this uncertainty of success post undergrad, and inviting others on a journey that they can relate to. I set out to write about the things that truly matter to me, to use my authentic voice to create a platform that does not shy away from discussing a plethora of topics that affect my community yet often get swept under the rug, and to celebrate the greatness of Black American culture with a very specific, loving focus on Black women and femmes (our greatness). I didn’t have that level of direction when I’d purchased a domain in 2019 (completely different name, barely fleshed out concept, and almost nonexistent discipline on my part). The inferno that is/was 2020 put the battery in my back— to redirect and go hard, to leave behind thoughts of how so many things could have gone, and leap towards all that can be.
Six months in and I am astounded— by my growth as an entrepreneur, my new level of confidence as a writer, and my independence when it comes to doing things my way. “Please No Bullsh*t” is mine through and through, something I will forever be proud of accomplishing in my youth; being able to invest in myself and create something from the ground up (even using design skills I thought I’d never use again). This year, with all its obstacles, assured me that there is no limit to my success when I have faith in myself; especially when redirection requires taking a closer look at what “success” means to me. I’m sure the next six months won’t look like the first, and I am excited about all of the possibilities to come— more growth, more opportunities, and even more transparency as I navigate 2021 with an allergy to the bullshit! Asè!
